2012 Parody: You’re Breaking My Heart

Uh, oh. It’s year-end parody time again. This is my sporadically annual tradition when I recap the major events of the past year with a song parody. Last year, I pillaged Rankin-Bass. This year, I’m picking on one of the greatest singer-songwriters of all time, Harry Nilsson. Why? Because there is only one song that can capture the spirit of a year as crazy as 2012: Nilsson’s very NSFW “You’re Breaking My Heart.” (Don’t worry, my parody uses the “radio edit” version. It sounds better that way.) Enjoy!

This song’s for you,
<bleep> you!

You almost make me wish
That Emmerich movie was true.

Mitt Romney got beat
By Sesame Street
And a gaffe or two.
Though it’s nice that L.A.
Got a cup for their play,
But <bleep> you.

Gabby won; no one cared.
They just whined ’bout her hair.

Petraeus chased <bleep>,
He got stripped of his brasses too.

You took Whitney Hou,
Gibb and Summer too,
So I can’t boogaloo.
We lost Neil Armstrong.
Rodney can’t get along.
So <bleep> you!

<bleep> <bleep> <bleep> <bleep> <bleep> <bleep> <ble-e-e-p>
<bleep> <bleep> <bleep> <bleep> <bleep> <bleep> <bleep> <bleep>…

Political rifts
Made us hit fiscal cliffs
Like Italian captains do.
Lance got reprimands,
And no yellow bands.
<bleep> him too.

A Mideast uprise,
And no Hostess pies.
Sandy and Gaza too.
You still made me smile
When we danced Gangham Style,
But <bleep> you!

<bleep> <bleep> <bleep> <bleep> <bleep> <bleep> <ble-e-e-p>
<bleep> <bleep> <bleep> <bleep> <bleep> <bleep> <bleep> <bleep>…