For my 2011 parody, I’m pillaging those classic Rankin-Bass stop-motion Christmas TV specials. Picture Rudolph and Hermey the Elf walking through the snow when they come across a crying old man in a black robe, holding a scythe, and…well, you get the idea.
Rudolph: Gee golly willikers, sir. What’s the matter with you?
Old Man: Oh (sobs), I’m Old Man 2011. They’re sending me to the Island of Misfit Years.
Rudolph: The Island of Misfit Years? What’s that?
Old Man: Oh, it’s right over there.
He points to a bunch of other old men carrying scythes and looking very sad. Hermey places the edge of his hand against his forehead as he squints at them.
Hermey: I see 1968, and 1981, and look — there are the entire 1930s.
Rudolph: But 2011, why are they calling you a misfit? Didn’t you graduate Stephanie from high school?
Old Man: Oh, that’s the only good thing about me…
To the tune of “We’re a Couple of Misfits” (of course).
(sung) I’m a year that’s a misfit.
I made that nuclear plant split
And Kardashian act like a nitwit.
So, I don’t fit in.
They hate me, 2011,
Cause I sent Steve Jobs to heaven
And Amy to Club 27.
That’s why I don’t fit in.
I just want a place to occupy,
But now I want to cry.
Rudolph: (spoken) Is that pepper spray in your eye?
Old Man: Aye!
Hermey: (sung) Republicans say you’re a misfit
Cause they want anyone but Mitt.
But the rest of the field are just dumb–
Rudolph: (spoken) Hermey!
Hermey: (sung) So you don’t fit in.
Congress causes frustration.
Wall Street’s in fluctuation,
Because of painful Euro-nation.
So, you don’t fit in.
Rudolph: (spoken) What’s with the off-color jokes, Hermey?
Hermey: Wait till you read Matthew’s new novel.
Old Man: (sung) What can I say? I wasn’t really great.
The Red Sox met their fate,
And don’t forget Penn State.
Rudolph: (spoken) But Old Man 2011, I don’t think you’re a misfit.
(sung) You made a hero of Gabby,
And let freedom spring through Araby,
And the Royal Wedding’s not shabby.
So, you do fit in.
Old Man: (spoken) I do?
Rudolph: (sung) The shuttle ended with glory,
South Sudan starts a new story,
And the Stern’s shower has a new floor-y.
So, you do fit in.
Rudolph, Hermey, and Old Man: Every year, it has some good and bad,
Some happy and some sad,
Hermey: And that new Zooey show is rad.
Rudolph, Hermey, and Old Man: So, we’re not really misfits.
Old Man: Though Herman Cain was a dimwit.
Rudolph, Hermey, and Old Man: Till next year when the Mayans end it,
We still will fit in!