Matthew Arnold Stern page: Speeches

Humorous Speeches

Cell Phone Rudeness: The next time you see someone meandering down the road while talking on their cell phone, read this. A popular speech!
The Cheese Cutting Contest: A tale that really stinks.
Dawn of a New Century: A reflection of a passing century…the 21st Century.
How to Give a Memorable Speech: Follow these tips to give a speech your audience will never forget.
iPodland: A magical place iPod lovers like to go.
Left Out: Can a poor baseball player become a hero? An award winner!
A Life in T-Shirts: You can learn everything about a man from the shirts he keeps in his drawer.
Not Enough Dog Poop: Something some psychologists are lacking.
Revenge of the Nerds?: Feeling like you’re becoming a nerd? You’re not alone. An award winner!
The Right to Bear Bears: Feeling angry? Don’t grab an Uzi, grab your teddy bear. An award winner!
The Seven Words Revisited: What the #@$% happened to those #@$%*&! words you can’t say on the #@$%*&! television!
What Was He Thinking?: Critical lessons we must all learn from the Don Imus case.

Avinu Malkaynu: What do Jews and Christians have in common? Something very important.
Bad Books: Why bad books are good. An award winner!
Don’t Believe Everything You Read: Don’t be a sucker for an urban legend. Learn how to identify the truth.
The Evaluation: Why open-hearted communication is more effective than violence.
Friendship: What does it take to build friendships that last?
I Have a Secret!: My two cents on a popular spiritual book.
It’s Good to Feel Bad: Is it ever OK to feel vengeful or angry? Find out how such negative emotions can help you.
Play the Ball, Not the Player: This tip from a soccer coach will help you score your goals in taking on controversial subjects without alienating club members.Also read “Make Your Club a Safe Zone” for further thoughts on this issue.
Rule of Threes: Tell your listeners once, twice, and three times to make your speeches easier to remember.
Survive College by Being Flexible: My advice to some junior high school students about how to succeed in college.
Three Keys to Effective Evaluation: If your evaluation has these three attributes, you can help anyone from Little Leaguers to Toastmasters.
Throw Britney to the Lions!: What does Britney Spears have in common with ancient Rome?

Another Mountain to Climb: What keeps people pursuing their passion for decades?
A Basket of Magazines: An award-winning speech about relationships between fathers and children.
Bound: An important lesson I learned from a harrowing experience. An award winner!
Don’t Proselytize Me: I gave this as a test speech for a number of Toastmasters speech contests this fall.
The Eagle in the Chicken Coop: A twist on the well-known self-help tale.
Edgar, The Brave Evaporative Cooler: A modern-day folk tale about a residential cooling system.
A Good Enemy: Enemies have benefits for nations and individuals. Find out how. An award winner!
Manhattan 2002: Lower Manhattan 11 months after the attack on the World Trade Center.
The Power of Your Words: My final Toastmasters speech tells why your words have power and how to use it.
A Winner Never Quits?: Is it really true that quitters never win? An award winner!
Winning from Losing: A 1993 speech about how to learn from losing.

Contest History: What are speech contests and why are they helpful? I explain as I show you my contest history.
Creating and Using Evaluation Forms: How to create evaluation forms that generate useful feedback and valuable marketing information.
Make Your Club a Safe Zone: On second thought, there are benefits to avoiding controversial speeches in Toastmasters clubs. See my letter to the editor that was published in the February, 2001 Toastmaster magazine.
Resources for Public Speaking: A handout I gave at an Orange County STC meeting in 1996.
Why be an Area Governor: Why Toastmasters should consider taking on this important role.
Why People Get Nervous and What to Do About It: You can overcome nervousness in speaking when you understand why it happens.