Sorry, folks. It’s year-end parody time again. This time, I’m appealing to the Millennials (whoever they are) by pilfering the theme song of their generation’s Rocky and Bullwinkle, Animaniacs. I liked Animaniacs, including the somewhat naughty references the kids didn’t get. (“No, no, no, fingerprints”? M-m-muh! Good night, everybody!) So, what would Yakko, Wakko, and Dot say about 2013? (And if you want to see them, you can purchase or stream the series on Amazon or watch it on The Hub.)
It’s time for two-zero-thirteen.
The weirdest year we’ve ever seen.
New Google Glass is keen,
And the pope is Argentine.
Weiner’s vexed by texts obscene.
It was bad for Paula Deen
When her racial slurs were seen
President Obama found himself in quite a mess.
With Syria and Snowden, NSA and IRS.
Meanwhile in Ohio, they freed teen girls in distress.
When they’ll repair Obamacare
Is anybody’s guess.
Egypt’s got a new regime,
And Toronto’s mayor seems
Like a Chris Farley routine
Gays can wed in gaberdine,
But the Russians treat them mean.
Budget battles are routine,
Which makes Boehner vent his spleen.
Miley took her wrecking ball and twerked the VMAs.
Kanye got sick of fish sticks, so he hooked up with Kim K.
Goodbye Cory Monteith, and Mandela passed away.
But wipe your tears, there’s cause to cheer,
Prince George is here. Hurray!
Has that lovely new year’s sheen
As long as Austrians don’t stray down in Sarajevo way.
New Doctor Who appear-o,
Remember Boston heroes.
See what I mean?