More Lessons from the Little White Ball
by Matthew Arnold Stern
I've learned a lot of lessons from my son's experience in Little League. I
recently learned an important lesson: When to let go.
I was looking forward to another exciting spring season of baseball with my
son. I was on his Little League's Board as secretary. I had signed up to be an
umpire and a scorekeeper. I couldn't wait to see him progress in his first full
season in AA.
The problem was that he wasn't looking forward to baseball as much as I was.
In fact, he wanted to quit. He said he didn't have his heart in baseball
anymore, and that he didn't like how highly competitive the game was becoming.
Baseball wasn't an obsession for him as it was for other kids,
and it seemed that a kid had to be that obsessed about baseball to fit in with
his team. My son
wanted to try other things.
It was a hard thing for me to accept at first. I've met some great parents
and kids in the League, and it was hard to leave them. I love baseball, but more
importantly, I loved participating in it with him. It was something we could do
together. Baseball gave us undivided time for us to spend together that work and home priorities couldn't infringe on.
But I also knew it was wrong for parents to force their kids to do something
they don't want to do. It wasn't fair to him or his potential coaches and teammates. It
was also unsafe because if you're not focused while playing a sport, you can get
seriously injured. So, I let him quit. I asked for a refund and resigned from
the Board.
We often look at quitting as a bad thing, but it can often free us to move on to
something better. I quit one Boy Scout troop that I thought had too much
favoritism. A year later, I joined the troop where I eventually earned my Eagle
Scout. I left UCLA when I couldn't afford to go there anymore, but I earned my
Bachelor degree with honors at Cal State Northridge. There are times that I regret quitting the clarinet, but I may not have
had the time to excel in my studies in high school if I had played in the
marching band.
It's also not reasonable to expect nine-year-olds to make a lifelong
commitment to a sport or other activity. Children love experimenting, and they
should have the freedom to do so. They can then discover what they truly love to
do and where their passions and talents lie.
If my son decides to return to baseball, it will because he truly loves the
sport and wants to play. It won't be because I force him to. If he has the skill and passion for the game, he can
make up whatever time he lost. If he finds an activity he prefers more and never
plays baseball again, I would accept that.
As a parent, we need to know when to guide our children and when to let them
go to discover on their own. I did the latter, even if it meant giving up
the little white ball.
Related Topics
Little White Ball
Lessons from the Little White Ball
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