It’s time for what is unfortunately becoming a holiday tradition, my song parody. Since we’re all feeling blue with the state the economy is in, the song this year is “Blue Christmas.” (For you purists, so what if there isn’t a second chorus? We’re blue enough to sing one anyway.)
President George Bush:
I’ll have a blue Christmas, there’s no doubt.
Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson:
Since everyone and their mom wants a bailout.
Citibank, IndyMac, Washington Mutual, et al.:
Our bank’s in the red,
GM, Ford, and Chrysler:
And our cars’ far from green.
But if we give them more money, the Republicans will make a scene.
Governor Sarah Palin:
I’ll have a blue Christmas, ya betcha.
Cause Katie Couric and Troopergate will getcha.
Your loss was no shock, so I’ll go back to 30 Rock,
And I’ll have a blue, blue, blue, blue Christmas.
New England Patriots:
We’ll have a blue Christmas for a reason,
The Giants ruined our perfect season.
The Wachowski Brothers:
Speed Racer‘s a dud.
Mervyn’s fell with a thud.
And those stinking Belgians who bought up all our Bud!
We’ll have a blue Christmas, that’s certain.
Cause our checking accounts are all hurtin’.
We may all do all right
With Obama’s house of white,
But for now, it’s a blue, blue, blue, blue Christmas.