I’m looking forward to season 4 of Epic Rap Battles of History. I’ve been a fan since season 2. My favorites (many of them are NSFW) are “Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates,” “Stephen King vs. Edgar Allen Poe,” and the season 3 finale, “Artists vs. TMNT.” What I like about the series is that you can have a good laugh and learn something.
The other part of the fun is suggesting opponents for creators Epic Lloyd and Nice Peter to pit against each other. And they do listen to suggestions. People bugged them for years for a “Goku vs. Superman” battle until they finally had one.
With this in mind, here are my suggestions for upcoming episodes of Epic Rap Battles of History. (And please, no more “Hitler vs. Vader” battles and don’t shill for video game producers even if you use lines like “Rap so hard, call me Al…Dente.”)
Taylor Swift vs. Sylvia Plath
Two women who have expressed their misery through their art. Bonus: Epic Rap Battles of History will get even more publicity when Swift inevitably disses it in a future song.
Count Dracula vs. Count Orlok (Nosferatu)
Two classic movie vampires do battle until Edward Cullen of The Twilight Saga shows up and they kick his sparkly butt.
Tony Montana (Scarface) vs. Fidel Castro
Which Cuban strongman is the toughest: The fictional gun-toter high on coke, or the real-life gun-toter high on Marxism? Either way, people in Miami will be ticked off (and “Say hello to my little friend!” will make an appearance.)
The Green Brothers (John and Hank) vs. The Brontë Sisters (Charlotte, Emily, Anne)
So that English Lit majors will squeal in delight.
Richard Pryor vs. Tyler Perry
I love Key and Peele rap battles. Pitting one of the rawest comedians of our time with one of the tamest would be great. (And if you’re concerned about using certain dialogue, use the post-1979 Pryor when he stopped using that particular word after his visit to Africa.)
Dexter Morgan (Dexter) vs. Patrick Bateman (American Psycho)
One kills for justice. The other kills for wealth and style. Then, Josef Stalin returns to show them that the best justification for killing lots of people is politics.
Cecil B. DeMille vs. Stanley Kubrick vs. Steven Spielberg vs. Michael Bay
These four classic movie directors (OK, three and Michael Bay) do battle and destroy any hopes Epic Lloyd and Nice Peter have of breaking into the movie business.
Have any suggestions of your own? Post them on their YouTube channel.