Communication Tip:
Asserting Yourself
Most people don't like
confrontation. But when you need to confront someone, you need to learn
how to address the problem assertively instead of attacking or hoping the
problem will go away.
How to Assert Yourself
Assertiveness consists of the following steps:
- Take responsibility for your feelings about the situation. The
problem exists because you don't like the situation. Don't blame,
judge, or attack others, because they might not even be aware that
they're bothering you.
- Formulate how you are going to address this problem. What is
happening that is bothering you? What change do you want to occur?
(This process also enables you to calm down so that you can address
the problem constructively).
- Talk to the person in a calm, supportive manner. Approach the
discussion with a problem-solving attitude. The discussion consists of
the following steps:
- State
your problem specifically.
- Say how you're feeling and how the person's actions affect you.
- Specify
a solution. State what you would like done.
- Describe
the positive consequences. Tell how the other person will also
benefit by making the change.
Tips on Speaking Assertively
- Speak
up immediately. Address the problem as soon as possible.
- Be
direct. State exactly the problem is and how it affects you.
- Be
pleasant. A smile and friendly voice is more likely to persuade
others to your point of view.
- Be
calm. By maintaining your composure, you are more likely to gain
credibility and support.
If the Other Person Resists
If the other person shows defensiveness or tries to sidetrack you,
maintain your composure and repeat your request. Make sure that the other
person has listened to, understood, and acted upon your request to your
satisfaction.
If the other person has some legitimate reasons for not being able to
meet your request, you can recommend some alternative methods of
fulfilling your request, but don't let yourself be diverted from what you
want to achieve. Related Topics
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Links
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