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2016 Parody: All We Talked About Was Trump

A crumpled 2016 calendar

This past year was frustrating, exasperating, heartbreaking, and just plain aching. It was a challenging year for our family and many people I know. However, there is one person (and only one) who had a wonderful year in 2016. You know who it is. He might not think it was so great after January 20. (We sure won’t.) But he will be remembered as the person we all talked about this year.

To honor our great leap back to the eighties, Don Henley is the inspiration for this year’s parody. So break out the synthesizers, roll up that pastel sports coat, and get ready to be trickled down on. ‘Cause all we talked about was Trump.

In 2016, what was our big desire?
All we talked about was Trump, Trump.
We had Squirtles to catch, but our phone was on fire,
But all we talked about was Trump.

Supreme Court justices, we were down to eight,
But all we talked about was Trump, Trump.
But the GOP said, “You have to wait,”
So all we talked about was Trump.

They say his hands are small, but he’s not embarrassed,
‘Cause all we talked about was Trump, Trump, Trump.
He’s bragging how he grabs them by the mons veneris.
The UK left the EU,
But all we talked about was Trump.

He was on the stump.
If he prevailed, he’d throw foes in jail.
He likes to bluster (oooh!)
And won’t pay taxes (oooh!).
The Russians hacked our emails,
But all we talked about was Trump.

We lost Bowie, Cohen, Ali, Prince, and Frey,
But all we talked about was Trump, Trump.
And what happened in Orlando even made gay-bashers cry,
But all we talked about was Trump.

Yeah, the athletes wouldn’t stand at dawn’s early light,
But all we talked about was Trump, Trump.
And Beyoncé goes for lobster when her man does her right.
Who cares about Aleppo,
When all we talked about was Trump?
He hates girls plump.

When next year comes, and he raises his hand,
Maybe he will surprise us with policies we can stand.
‘Cause we don’t want alt-right fascists and Pepe the Frog.
Want to win like Cubbies,
But all we talked about was Trump.

Had pollsters stumped.
Hill had her fall, so he’ll build that wall.
He won’t watch Hamilton (oooh!)
And blows up Twitter (oooh!).
Now we’re stuck with that pipeline,
We got rid of that pipeline,
Though all we talked about was Trump.

Free speech’s for chumps,
When all we talk about is Trump.

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